Direction is something I can’t get out my head lately, ever since the new year I’ve been pondering more and more where this life is taking me, if I’m on the right track, what opportunities lie ahead, what missed opportunities lie behind etc.
To look behind and feel sorry for yourself is pointless, to beat yourself up and bemoan chances gone achieves nothing. On the other hand to look back, to analyze, to figure out where, why and when things went wrong is a skill not nearly enough people have.
Focus is vitally important, and the thing I lack most. Too many things interest me, too many walks of life appeal to me. Music, Computers, Technology, Photography, Law, Business even Medicine are all vying for my attention, and I can’t give any of them the time and focus they need to make a successful lifestyle from. If I achieve one thing this year it’s to get a rein in on this, to try and figure out what I want to be doing in ten years, to make sure I’m not at the same crossroads I’m at now.
Education, for the first time in my life, is finally getting the attention it deserves (I think). My exam results came out today, and for once I’m heading back to college eager to do well, not because of the prospects of repeats, but because of the prospect of finishing the year with a QCA high enough to brag about. I was handed a golden opportunity this year to study something I adore, even managed to skip an entire year on the backing of a few lecturers, I don’t want to let them or myself down.
And finally, but most importantly, is that for the first time in my life, I’m truly, truly happy. My personal life could not be any better, it gives me such energy and excitement about the future. I wont go into detail, a) because this isn’t the time or place and b) if she ever reads this she’ll kill me, but never has anyone given me such confidence in myself, such enthusiasm about life, she makes the simple things seem extraordinary and makes the dark days seem brighter. My advice to anyone reading this, more important than work or college or money or any of that crap, is that if you love someone, let them know. You might get lucky like I did and find out they love you back.